


Kids

by Kiterie



Series: Formspring Drabbles [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-29
Updated: 2010-06-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 13:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/662652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiterie/pseuds/Kiterie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi and Iruka adopt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kids

Kakashi hadn't wanted kids, not for a second. He was a shinobi first and a parent had to be a parent first. He didn't want them because he didn't want to think about what it meant if he failed. If he failed as a shinobi they would pay the price either because he didn't come home, like his mother, or because he did, like his father. Just because he'd eventually forgiven his father didn't mean they would, and even _he_ had done so too late. It hurt and Kakashi hadn't wanted to put anyone through that, especially not his own child.

There was never a point that he could honestly remember _being_ a child. He'd trained to be a shinobi since before he could remember and then he'd been one for over two decades. The thought of even interacting with a child when they weren't seemed... impossible.

Then, of course, there had been the fact that he was who he was. He was cold and distant and how could he possibly love a child the way they were supposed to be loved. They wouldn't understand that he was afraid he'd break them. It would just seem to them that their father didn't love them. How could he do that to a child? He could never be a dad.

"I can't do this." He held the baby out at arms length at Iruka, clearly expecting the other man to take it. When Iruka had pulled him into the nursery of the makeshift hospital he hadn't expected to have the infant shoved into his arms.

Iruka laughed and took a step back. "Sure you can, Kakashi."

"No." Kakashi's eyes widened at the growing distance between the baby and Iruka, his voice pitching up slightly and his chest tightening. "No, I can't." He was going to drop her and then she'd break.

"Gah..." The infant stuck her fingers in her mouth then began giggling and kicking her feet.

"Iruka..." His voice became more of a whine. If he moved there was a chance, infinitesimal as it might be, that he would drop her.

"She likes you." The amusement in Iruka's voice was more than a little apparent, it pitched a little the way it did when he was smothering a laugh.

Kakashi glared at his boyfriend. "Would you stop laughing and take her before I drop her." Not that he would do so intentionally it just seemed the most likely outcome of him holding one.

There was a nice long pause and then Iruka stepped close and slid his hands over Kakashi's pressing the baby up against him slowly. "Well if you keep holding her out like that, you're arms will get tired and you just might," Iruka chuckled, taking one of Kakashi's with one hand and guiding it down and across to the little girl's leg. "Just hold her like this and you'll be fine." He smiled and then tugged Kakashi's other hand until it was behind the baby's head. "See... it's much easier this way and no risk of dropping her." The corners of his mouth curved with the clearly barely suppressed laugh.

"What if I squeeze too tight? Or she doesn't like me? Or..." Kakashi wondered if there was anything worse than that.

"You've dealt with newborn pups right?" Iruka's hands slid around Kakashi's waist as he talked, the baby snuggled between them. "Ever had to take care of one that didn't have a mother? Ever had to bottle feed one?"

"That's... different." Puppies were puppies and Kakashi was fairly sure they weren't the same thing. Despite the protest the tense muscles in his arms and back, eased with the chunin's closeness. Having Iruka right there meant he couldn't possibly drop the baby.

Clearly oblivious to Kakashi's fears the little girl babbled and touched his face and mask, her pudgy fingers pulling at the fabric.

The smirk on Iruka's lips became more pronounced. "Mm... Babies are babies, Kakashi."

Kakashi frowned and the nervous, tense feeling in his stomach didn't ease in the slightest at the reassurance. "But..."

"When the puppy is hungry it cries and you give it a bottle, same with a baby. You have to help the puppy go to the bathroom and clean up after it, babies are easier. You put the diaper on and you take it off, clean it up and put a new one on." Iruka's voice pitched as he talked and he gave a low, amused chuckle. "They both like to be held close. They both like to be warm. They both have heads that are too big for their bodies. They both require consistency and training as they get older. They _really_ aren't that different."

"It's not that easy, it can't be." Kakashi didn't whine this time though. "When she gets older..." He swallowed, trying to push all the horrible fears that welled up at the thought away. "We could ruin her."

The smile on Iruka's face faded, his eyes softening with the change in expression, he wasn't frowning though. "I know there's a chance something could happen. Even if one of us doesn't come home, or makes a choice that... hurts the people we care about, or anything bad happens... We won't let it ruin her even if the worst happens."

Kakashi swallowed again. "I thought you didn't want kids?"

"I didn't... I never really considered having kids. I like kids and I have over two dozen every day and they are very much _my_ kids." Iruka said it with a level of certainty that left no room for argument.  "But..." He smiled again, this time his  eyes lowered and he looked from the little girl and then back up at Kakashi. "I've watched you Kakashi. All this time with Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and even Sai... You're good with them."

"I failed them repeatedly, how is that good?" Sai he couldn't take credit for, that was Tenzou and Naruto.

"Parents aren't perfect but in the end when you look at the effect they had... you can see if they were a good parent." Iruka smiled and tilted his head just a little so he could kiss the top of the baby's head.

The motion drew Kakashi's attention down again and he smiled under the mask at the sight of the baby asleep on his shoulder, her tiny fist balled up in the blue fabric of his shirt. "What's her name?"

"Sumi... Kimura. Both of her parents were killed." Iruka frowned then kissed the sleeping baby again.

"Kimura?" Kakashi raised a curious eyebrow. "As in Atsushi Kimura?"

Iruka nodded. "I was thinking about it before..."

Kakashi sighed then leaned forward and kissed Iruka's forehead. "I'm sorry. You should have just told me." The arms around Kakashi's waist tightened, the pieces falling into place. "He was your sensei Iruka. If you'd told me she was his I would have said yes."

"It wasn't just that... I didn't want you to think it was." The chunin looked up, brown eyes furrowed and his lips pressed together tightly for a moment. "Don't say yes just because of who she is."

The frustration was obvious but of everything it was what made Kakashi relax. "It does factor into it whether you want it to or not." He watched Iruka's face fall and resisted the urge to kiss him. "But.." Kakashi smiled, the corner of his eye crinkling. "I wouldn't have asked her name if I wasn't already considering it."

Iruka grinned then leaned forward again and kissed Kakashi lightly over the mask. "I love you," he whispered, his lips still brushing Kakashi's through the fabric.

"Mmhm..." It was an agreement as much as it was his way of saying the feeling was mutual. "I could still break her you know." Deep inside he was still terrified of that even if it wasn't as all-consuming as it had been when Iruka had pushed the baby at him the first time.

"If you drop her I'll be there to catch her."


End file.
